Let me just preface this post by saying that before I started eating right a week ago, I got into the terribly disgusting habit of “needing” a dessert of some kind after every meal. Like, it was bad. I felt like a true drug addict. As soon as I took the last bite of my “real” food, I was out of my seat, on the lookout for something chocolate or sugary or gooey or just anything remotely sweet and unhealthy. After. Every. Meal. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I put on some pounds in the past month. So that was one of my biggest stipulations with eating right: absolutely no desserts. And I’ve done really well with it. Kind of.
Alright, I know it may be a little too soon to be having a cheat day since I’ve only been going at this for a week, but I kind of have to. Every Wednesday, I meet with a group of friends at a different restaurant, and it’s not always a healthy restaurant. Like, one week we went to a barbecue place that doesn’t serve salads or anything remotely healthy. So, I decided to make every Wednesday my cheat day. Now, this doesn’t mean that the whole day is a cheat day, because that would just be too crazy. I only really get a cheat meal at supper. And I still have to keep it somewhat reasonable because, well, eating right sucks (shameless title plug.)
So I’ve been planning for my cheat meal all day long by making sure I stayed on track with everything else. Like, I went to a lunch thing at school where they serve a home cooked meal with sides and desserts and sweet tea, and all you have to do is donate a dollar. ONE DOLLAR! And I went, and donated my dollar, but I brought my healthy lunch instead of eating the pulled pork sandwiches, chips, and cookies. Right?! I gave up all of that for my cold chicken salad and crackers! I think I’m getting a little better at this (so she thinks.) So the restaurant we went to was a pizza buffet, but like a really good buffet. Not the kind where everything tastes the same. And this one has foods other than pizza. So, like a good little dieter, I fixed a salad first, hoping it would curb my appetite a little. Iceberg, ham, sunflower seeds, homemade honey mustard dressing, and crackers. It was pretty good, but let’s be honest. You don’t come to a buffet on a cheat day for salad. Now on to the good stuff. Then I got like 1/3 of a bowl of potato soup (yum,) two fried chicken strips dipped in honey mustard (double yum,) and, my all-time favorite food in the world, a very small portion of macaroni and cheese (I think I just had a food-heart attack.)
I finished all of that and went back for a little more potato soup because it’s cheat day, and then it happened. As my husband was getting up to get some bread pudding for himself, it just slipped out of my mouth. I realize now how badly my subconscious self wanted it, because I didn’t plan on getting it, but here it was. The most glorious and painful sentence to come out of my mouth in a week. “Can you grab me a brownie while you’re up?” Oh nooooooooooo. What have I done? Will I be able to stop again once I start? I haven’t had a dessert in a week. Will this become a deadly pattern after every meal again? Will I slip back into my sweets addiction that I’ve weened myself off of? But that magnificent square of brown sprinkled with angel’s dust (powdered sugar) was just… just… heavenly. But, to my amazement, I didn’t eat the whole thing (only left one bite on the plate.) Did I feel guilty? Of course. But, I’ve always heard that if you never allow yourself a guilty pleasure now and then, you’ll get so burned out on your eating that you’ll fall wayyyyy off the wagon and go for a binge. I’ve been on a food binge, and let me tell you, It is NOT pretty. I’d much rather have a brownie and some fried chicken once a week that find myself at the end of the weekend with a sugar headache, three empty chicken buckets hidden in the bottom of the trash can, and seven extra pounds. Am I right? I don’t care. That’s my thought process, and I’m sticking to it.
So here’s my official list for today. Granola bar for breakfast. Banana for snack. Chicken salad with crackers for lunch (and NO pulled pork or sweet tea, thank you.) Cocoa almonds for snack. Salad, chicken, potato soup, mac and cheese, and almost a whole brownie for supper. Now, to just be good tomorrow.