The eagle has landed

Not to get too personal, but yesterday was rather difficult to hold up my newly acquired “healthy” lifestyle because… the red monster arrived. That’s right. And when this glorious time of the month hits me, all bets are off. I become this food-crazed barbarian who wants to devour anything and everything in its path. I really don’t get it. It’s like my stomach becomes a bottomless pit that just can’t be satisfied. It really sucks. But I was in class all day, which is an hour from home and I pack my lunch and snacks, so it’s pretty easy not to screw it up during the day. But once I got home…… oh, mama.

Remember those chips in the pantry I told you I should totally throw out? Well, I didn’t. I’m an idiot. I was waiting for my husband to get home from work so we could eat supper together. I already knew I was going to make myself a ham and cheese sandwich and that was that. I knew he would be home in less than ten minutes, so I didn’t have time to start any homework or do anything really, so I just kinda stood around in the kitchen waiting. First mistake. While I’m waiting I, of course, get bored. And when I combine boredom with the baby box problem I discussed earlier, bad things happen. I suddenly remembered those deliciously disgusting and oh so satisfying chips in the pantry just steps away from me. I open the door and just stare at them for a minute, contemplating life. “I’ve been so good today,” I say. “It’s not that bad if it’s in moderation,” I say. “No one has to know. I don’t have to put it on the blog,” I say. By the way, this inner monologue is a constant thing when it comes to food with me. I told you, I’m a freak. So I take the bag out and check the nutrition label for the serving size and calories. Eleven chips for 160 calories. OK. If I just stick to the serving size, it won’t be that bad, right? Sure. And the food-crazed monstrosity got her way. I did count out eleven chips (actually thirteen–one piece of a chip broke off and fell to the ground so I ate two more to make up for it. Makes perfect sense, I know,) and they were magnificent. It’s like junk food becomes crack cocaine when you can’t have it. Ugh. I don’t like that.

Anyway, after I ate my supper a little later, it hit again. This feeling that if I didn’t eat everything in sight in the next thirty seconds, I was going to be driven to a total psychotic breakdown and transform into a werewolf or something. It’s like my body took over and didn’t care about what my head was telling me AT ALL. Thankfully, my precious husband pinned me to the couch and wouldn’t let me up for any reason whatsoever. We actually wrestled for a minute and I realized that he’s pretty dang strong. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is. Thanks, babe.

Also, I was elected class president yesterday, hence the cheese double-meaning title. Thank you.

Food list for yesterday. Granola bar for breakfast. Cocoa crusted almonds for snack. Chicken salad with crackers for lunch. Banana for snack. Eleven (just kidding, thirteen) chips to satisfy the monster. Ham and cheese sandwich and a cutie for good measure. Thank you, and goodnight.

 

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