So. I’ve always made fun of people who make blogs. I just thought it was another way they could get attention through social media, like a verbal selfie. Who has time for that? So let me just go on the record and say I think blogs are kinda stupid. By the way, my name is Sarah Beth. Nice to meet you.
So why am I writing one? Because I suck at accountability when it comes to eating right when I decide to. Yeah, I can talk to my husband about it, or I can write everything down in a journal, but the husband will just take me to get chicken nuggets when I tell him I’m hungry at midnight (he knows me SO well) and the journal won’t ever tell me that the doughnut (more like three) wasn’t the best idea. So I’ve decided to use this blog as a kind of food journal/celebration page when I lose a pound or two. And I’m sure that whatever is currently bothering me at the moment will make a lovely appearance now and then. My goal is to try to do this every day, but I’m a full time student and I’m working at a restaurant on the weekend, so let’s be real. My posts, if they make it every day (doubtful,) are going to be pretty short. Like, this is most likely the longest one I’ll make. Ever. And I’m not even going to go out of my way to publish this thing on my facebook or anything. I don’t even know if anyone will ever even read this. Honestly, this is just a way to make me feel guilty if I mess up and eat terribly, because I’ll have to confess it to my invisible blog later. I’m so weird.
A brief explanation for why I’m wanting to eat healthy. For my wedding two years ago, I went on a super strict low carb diet and lost like 25 pounds. It was terrible. I loved being a few sizes down, but the diet was miserable. I was so angry ALL THE TIME at the fact that I couldn’t eat bread. I really don’t know how my poor husband (then fiance) made it through to the big day. And as soon as the wedding was over and I dropped the diet, the weight came right back. Since then I’ve gone through spells of eating right, not eating right, and just trying to find time to even eat.Here’s what I’ve found: When I don’t pay a lick of attention to what I’m eating and life gets busy, I eat whatever is convenient which usually means fast food, eating out, chips, and sweets. That’s what’s been happening since I started school in August. Gross. My scrubs fit tighter over my thighs and it makes me want to throw up. I haven’t gotten on the scale in weeks because I really might curl into a ball on the bathroom floor and avoid eye contact with myself in the mirror for a few days. Not okay. So until I’ve been eating decently for a week or so, no scales. Fine with you? Don’t care, I’m doing it anyway.
Alright, so down to the main point of my blog. Can’t believe I made a blog. Okay. So yesterday was an OK day. For breakfast I ate some off-brand oat clusters and almonds cereal with some milk (duh.) Ooooh let me segway here for a minute. I also tried the counting calories eating a while back, and that’s also miserable. I’m just very obsessive and neurotic and I spend half my day counting freaking calories and it makes me crazy. Not doing that this time. Just eating better things. Anyway, then I wanted to make Kyle (my wonderful husband who shares my love of chicken nuggets) spaghetti. Another segway. I feel so bad when I diet because my first thought is to just not buy anything I shouldn’t be eating. But poor Kyle is a guy and needs real food. So my eating right is always a little bit of a struggle between making good choices, but also cooking normal things for him, hence the spaghetti. This time, I made my spaghetti with ground beef (I’ve used turkey in the past,) regular noodles (couldn’t find the whole wheat ones and honestly didn’t look THAT hard,) tomato paste, seasonings, blah blah, and we always finish our off with a little sugar (skipped out on the stevia this time since it was for Kyle.) And I always add a little mayonnaise to my portion (sound terrible, learned it from Kyle’s grandparents, it will change your life.) But I did use the olive oil mayo that I use in my sandwiches, so that’s a little better, right? Sure. Then I made some cheddar butter biscuits that are delish, but so bad for you, I’m sure. I had a reasonable portion of the spaghetti and two biscuits. The second one was because I had some sauce left on my plate and we can’t waste things, right? See, this is why I need accountability. I such so bad at this. Alright, then Kyle and I ran some errands and got some coffee. I skipped out of the usual syrupy goodness that I am so tempted to get, and settled with just iced coffee with cream and no calorie sweetener. Good job, SB. Oh yeah, and on our errands I grabbed two little mini oranges to snack on. Fist bump on the fruit choice. I had to go into work at the restaurant at 3:30 so I decided to go a head and eat my sort of “supper” before I went so I wouldn’t be just starving by the time I got home at 10 or 11. So I made a salad with some mixed greens, mozzarella cheese, grilled chicken, whole wheat crackers, and light honey mustard dressing. It was pretty yummy, if I do say so myself. It only made me a few minutes late for work. No big. Ok so then I get to work and someone messed up a delicious appetizer with buttery bread and creamy crawfish sauce, so they gave it to the servers. I immediately grab a piece before anyone else can get to it and stuff it down. Halfway through the swallow, I remember that I’m not supposed to be eating such goodness, and I want to kick myself. I seriously just forgot. Didn’t I tell you I such at this? Ugh. An hour or so later, the specials for the night were up for the servers to taste, so I had on bite of shrimp and steak, and one bite of some redfish in a cream sauce. I brought some cocoa almonds in case I got hungry, but I never ate them. And that was that for Friday.
Let me brag real quick, then I’m done. Every night when I get home from work, whether it’s 8:30 or 12:00, I feel like I need to eat. I’m almost never actually hungry, I just haven’t sat down with a meal in several hours, even though I usually get to snack at work like I just mentioned. And last night was no different. I wasn’t hungry at all, but it was like my body was saying, “You deserve to sit down and eat. It’s natural. Just do it.Who cares if you’re not hungry. It’s time/” And you know what I did? I had a drink and I WENT TO BED. That’s right. Take that, stupid body. I’m a little proud of myself for that.
One more side note. The past two days are the first “chilly” days of fall (and by chilly, I mean that it’s not 90 degrees–I live in Mississippi, by the way,) and it was glorious. So glorious, that one of the errands Kyle and I ran yesterday was to get some fall smell-goods for the house. So this morning, not only was it 59 degrees outside, praise Jesus (I also love Jesus a lot, so get ready for that,) but my house also smelled like leaves. So beautiful
Alright. There is it is. My first blog that I always swore I would never write. See you next time.