Tight skirts and thrift stores

So my dental hygiene class is made up of sixteen girls who are all pretty and thin and girly and really good at makeup and hair. Do I fit into this category? Ehh. Maybe a little, but I’m not super girly, I just chopped all my hair off to above my shoulders (it used to be close to my belly button,) and it takes me about six minutes to do my makeup, if I’m trying. Also, my butt is about a mile and a half from being thin. So when the class decided to do a group costume for Halloween as cartoon princesses, my first thought was, “But they don’t have a short, dumpy princess….” So after much consideration, I have decided to be Jane Porter from the Tarzan cartoon, mostly because her hair is always up in a messy bun and she’s traipsing around in the jungle, so she can’t care too much about how she looks, right? Sure.

After looking online, I decided I was going with the yellow button-down, green skirt, brown boots, and straw hat look. I have the boots, but the rest is not a part of my usual wardrobe so… it’s thrift store time. I really love finding things that were once expensive, but I only pay seventy-five cents for. It gets my blood pumping. I started at one thrift store close to my husbands office and found a great hat and a really cute over-the-shoulder bag that fits the look perfectly. The only yellow button downs they had were men’s and they swallowed me whole, and the skirts… ugh, the skirts. They had several green skirts that would have worked fine, if it wasn’t for my continent of a back side. One of them wouldn’t even fit over my lower thighs. That’s the thing with thrift stores. You can find some really great stuff, but the sizes can bite you in the butt… literally.

So I struck out there and felt a little discouraged, but then I met up with a friend who is new to the area who wanted to go with me to help me find something that would work. I took her to a bigger thrift store uptown that she’s never been to and we found a few yellow button downs (this time, women’s) to try on and were on the lookout for  a skirt. We find the skirt section and fine one pencil skirt that was the right color, but not really the look I was going for. And that was it! I couldn’t believe that we weren’t finding anything! So, mainly out of boredom, we start just browsing through the dresses and we’re sharing life stories when my friend says, “Oh, you’re going to love me.” And she pulls out this perfect, olive green, high waist, a-line, shin-length, pleated, Jane Porter skirt. I mean, it’s like someone looked at all of my pictures I collected from the internet and made this skirt to match them. I really think I may have heard a heavenly choir in the back of my head when she held it up. It was perfect! But then, my stomach dropped. I have no idea what size this thing is. I mean, the waistband looks a little narrow, but it is going to be super high on the waist, right? Ugh. Here goes nothing. I’m off to the dressing room.

One of the shirts was just perfect, so that’s a definite go. I look at the skirt. Please, oh please just work. This will be so perfect if you just work. I unzip it and step in through the top. It’s a little snug trying to get past the thunder thighs, but I get it up to my waist. I’m pulling the two clasps closer and closer and it’s sinching tighter and tighter on my waist. Suck it in, girl. Suck. It. In. Aaaaaaand it hooks! Quite snug on my skin, but it hooks. And zips (with a little extra effort.) So, it is a little too tight to actually wear in public for a real outfit, but for my costume, I’ll have the shirt tucked in and pulled a little, I’ll have a belt, I’ll hopefully lose an inch if I can eat right for a month, and it’s just exactly what I envisioned for Jane. It’ll work.

As we’re checking out, I mention to my friend that it’s a little snug, but I just started eating right and hopefully, by the end of the month, I’ll have lost a few pounds and inches. She’s so sweet. She tells me I’m beautiful the way I am and I don’t have to lose a pound. I knew I brought her for a reason. Shirt, check. Skirt, check. Boots, check. Bag, not part of the plan but saw one and liked it, check. Now, just have to find a belt, an umbrella, and a stuffed monkey.

Another quick skirt story. I’m in a wedding in April and I had to order my dress from a store in Chicago by calling and giving the store my measurements. Such a miserable conversation. They suggested I order a size that I almost passed out at because it sounded huge. Thank the Lord, it was too big when I got it in, so I sent it back and requested a smaller size, which arrived last night. Everything fit much better, but I’ll need to alter the length (obviously) and the bust (of course.) The waist is like a quarter of an inch too tight for now, but I have seven months to shrink that down a little, which shouldn’t be a problem. Overall, I’m happy with it.

Here’s my list for today. Granola bar for breakfast. Mini oranges for snack. Chicken fajitas for lunch (so, grilled chicken, onions, peppers, and a little lettuce, sour cream and guacamole–no tortillas.) Cocoa almonds for snack. Grilled chicken wrap for supper with some cheese, mayo, bacon, and lettuce. Tomorrow is weigh day… eek!


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